No one gets it.

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My husband had an accident 4x weeks ago.  Was very touch and go at times.  He was in ICU for 4x days. He will recover, but how long no one knows.

The mind numbing travelling one and half hours there and back, the heavy eye lids, the mind games that play in your head when your tired head hits the pillow.

No one gets it.

People can’t visit because he needs to rest his damaged brain,  he looks fine so when you chat he answers and has a meaningful conversation, but when you leave he sleeps for 3x hours because his brain can’t do it.

No one gets it.

People text you their support and kindness, most of it so half hearted, bet if I said “Could you… or Would you?”  they would run a mile.

No one gets it.

We belonged to a church years ago, and I have had so many well wishes, but sorry people telling me you are praying for me doesn’t actually pay the bills, drive me to the hospital, or make life a whole lot easier really.  I think you should read the passage about doing, not praying.

No one gets it.

The thing that has got me the most, is how people want to give you the story of their life of all the things they are so busy doing right now, give you so many excuses of why they can’t visit, because they are soooo busy, well don’t, just don’t, I don’t need you anyway.  I sit here with nothing to do but look after my sanity, which no one cares about.  I am so emotional, and not one friend has got time, because they’re busy.

No one gets it.

I have found that no one wins in this situation, You tell people they can’t visit, and yet you are hanging out for someone to care.  They say they will give you space, which you need, but you can’t do it on your own.   I thought having the opportunity to stay home and not work would be awesome, its not, its mind numbing, it lonely, its just empty.

The next person that says, is there anything I can do?…. I will scream…. unless of course you really do.

No one gets it.

 

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