I’m not me

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Been struggling a bit lately.

Work has been crazy, large company trying to make more money out of old people, staff working way over their capacity, I hate seeing people struggling.  I really do have a heart for hurting people and I do care when they are struggling, but I can only do so much.  I am so busy, I can’t get my own job done, nevertheless help my colleagues.

My friend is having a terrible time with her family, I have 2x really sick friends.

My boy has moved to another country for a while, I feel like I lost my best friend.

My best friend has worn my grief and has every right to walk away, but is still here, still being the awesome friend that he is.

I just feel like I am hanging off people, who have no time for me.

I feel like someone has died…. I feel so sad…. My heart feels like its going to burst, I am so lonely, I am so mixed up in the head, I have made so many mistakes lately, I feel like I am losing myself.

I have never been like this in my life… is it  me making up for all the years I was never hormonal, I would never fight, i would never argue, but all I feel like is that’s what I am doing all the time….. I am apologising so much I feel like a fake.

This is not me… this is me not coping… I am a mess…..

I need help …

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