I lie in bed so sore from my hip operation, where are the people that are meant to love me and care for me, I am always there for them, I always visit, cook, clean, bring flowers, just visit.. but now its my turn and where are you?? When it all boils down… I don’t want your freakin flowers, I don’t want your cooking, I don’t want you to clean… I just want you to care, I want you to say … are you ok? Tears go down my face, cause having no one care hurts…yes.. it hurts bad. Feeling worthless, and a piece of crap, not worthy of breathing. Why am I not worthy of having someone care for me? What have I done to deserve no one. When I was off… I asked for your help… oh you are busy…. but now you want me and I’m there… pfft… do you not understand that I am always there for you? Do you not understand that I would do anything for you, i would go anywhere for you? Why do I not deserve this in return? The saying… “You know who your mates are when you are down!”, you sure do.
I want to be that person that when you are sick, I am there for you, when you are feeling down and the day is blue, I want to be there. Life throws us curve balls sometimes and it just throws you down, I want to stretch my hand and help you up, I wanna be there. When everyone else is no where to be seen and you need a friend, i want to be there. When your best mates died or your friend is really sick, I wanna be there. When you just need someone to sit beside you and say nothing, I want to be there. When you need to laugh and have some fun, I definately want to be there. And when I can’t be there in person, you know I want to be there. All I can hope is that you want to be there for me too.
I want that love that makes you feel all gooey, the kind of love where you can’t wait for them to come home to give you a hug and tell you everything that has happened today. I want that person to care about what i am feeling, to want to do nice things for me instead of rolling their eyes and sitting on their arse and waiting to be waited on. I want to feel special, I want kisses on the forehead and make amazing passionate love. I want to walk on a beach hand in hand and feel the love that just passes through each others veins. I want to be treated as I treat others, with respect and pure unconditional love. I want to feel, feel like I am needed for just being me and nothing else.
We deserve the love that makes us feel we are enough, more than enough– the love that inspires us to be better than we were yesterday.
Source: Read This When You Feel Undeserving Of Love
I was so afraid to trust you. I was even more afraid to love you.
Source: To The Man Who Loves Me Right