Where are you?


I lie in bed so sore from my hip operation, where are the people that are meant to love me and care for me, I am always there for them, I always visit, cook, clean, bring flowers, just visit.. but now its my turn and where are you??   When it all boils down… I don’t want your freakin flowers, I don’t want your cooking, I don’t want you to clean… I just want you to care, I want you to say … are you ok?   Tears go down my face, cause having no one care hurts…yes.. it hurts bad.  Feeling worthless, and a piece of crap, not worthy of breathing. Why am I not worthy of having someone care for me?  What have I done to deserve no one. When I was off… I asked for your help… oh you are busy…. but now you want me and I’m there… pfft… do you not understand that I am always there for you?  Do you not understand that I would do anything for you, i would go anywhere for you?  Why do I not deserve this in return?   The saying… “You know who your mates are when you are down!”, you sure do.



I want to be there.



I want to be that person that when you are sick, I am there for you, when you are feeling down and the day is blue, I want to be there.  Life throws us curve balls sometimes and it just throws you down, I want to stretch my hand and help you up, I wanna be there.  When everyone else is no where to be seen and you need a friend, i want to be there.  When your best mates died or your friend is really sick, I wanna be there. When you just need someone to sit beside you and say nothing, I want to be there.  When you need to laugh and have some fun, I definately want to be there.  And when I can’t be there in person, you know I want to be there. All I can hope is that you want to be there for me too.

I want…..


I want that love that makes you feel all gooey, the kind of love where you can’t wait for them to come home to give you a hug and tell you everything that has happened today.  I want that person to care about what i am feeling, to want to do nice things for me instead of rolling their eyes and sitting on their arse and waiting  to be waited on.  I want to feel special,  I want kisses on the forehead and make amazing passionate love.   I want to walk on a beach hand in hand and feel the love that just passes through each others veins. I want to be treated as I treat others, with  respect and pure unconditional love.  I want to feel, feel like I am needed for just being me and nothing else.

I want…………..this