We all have something…

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Saturday night attended a family function.  Great time had by all, loved watching my nephews having an awesome time with each other,  loved the laughter and fun had by young people.   Makes my heart miss a beat watching people have a great time.  Love looking at the photos taken until……………. I see me, that’s not how I imagine myself, that’s not how I feel when I laugh out loud and have fun. It makes me sad, I’m not that person, I start to beat myself up and make myself miserable, it stems from when I was a kid, I was always told how fat and ugly I am, and I look at those pics and that’s what I see. Tears run down my face, I am now in my 50s and it still effects me, someone spat at me once to stop being a victim…. but we are all victims to ourselves, all of us have some hate toward ourselves in areas of our lives, being that, looks,personality or decision making.

Learn to love yourself….blah blah blah….. I believe I am a good person, will always give to others before I ask anything for myself, I have some good qualities, but nothing will convince me that those pics look good.  They tell me that people / men like confident people… well I know people who love themselves and look lovely and are mighty confident, but are so self absorbed and nasty, I would rather be me. Confidence is given by people, but some of us miss out on encouragement, and being told positives.

Me is all I can be, warts and all, love me for who I am, I will love unconditionally, and do anything for anyone.  So what I think of me will not effect you.  Your opinion doesn’t matter to me, cause I am fine inside.

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Interview for an important job

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Only a woman would understand what I am about to say:

Whilst preparing for a job interview, had a mental picture of how everything was going to go, how I would look and how I would present myself.

Well the morning started off pretty well, I dressed in the clothes I had laid out……………..nope………..not them…………no not those either….. ear rings don’t match, …………no not them…shoes look stupid………..no not that……boobs look obvious……no not that…… colour is wrong…….ohhh that …yes that’s good….. look in mirror…well that’s stupid….. lets try that…. ohh god I have put on weight….. does this look ok?  OH it does not…. blue is best, highlights the eyes….. have nothing to match….  change….. Oh yeah that looks fine….. the clothes I laid out last night.

Yeah…. only a woman would understand.