Even old people can be horrid.


How come old people can hit nurses and not even flinch doing it.  An old man at work today (who use to be a boxer) can barely walk and needs assistance to get out of wheelchair and into his lounge chair, 2x staff trying to transfer and he is going to sit before he makes the chair, I only said, hang on , hang on, and with that he elbowed me with full force in the top of my arm.  I thought he broke my arm, it felt like fire going up into the top of my arm and into my neck.  Not all old people are nice people!


Dreams interpreted.



For so long now I have had the same recurring dream.  I am driving so fast, my brakes don’t work….but I never crash, just that overwhelming feeling of thorough fear and chills up my spine, heart goes tight and I wait for the inevitable.  So I research what does it mean:

One possible answer:

In dreams, the vehicle that you are in, represents yourself and the road
represents your path. In life, are you moving too fast? Do you have clear cut
and concise goals for yourself or are you just going with the flow? Maybe your
struggling in your waking life? Slow down, watch where you are going and make a
clear plan for your future

To dream that your brakes fail or that you can’t reach the brakes
forewarns that you lack stability in your life. Now is not the time to take
risks. Your life is out of control and you need to make some significant

Hence I take heed….. Just thinking about this, makes my heart pound, makes me wanna run…so out of control.

Fear is real for some.


imagesCA0CRSUVSpeaking to a friend today who has lost 16kg and is looking to loose 20kg more, went to the beach with her husband and he asked her to come swimming, “I am fine” she replied, he replied, “I love you no matter what”, with that she up and went swimming. It was such a releasing moment for her. The feeling of sheer fear, the tightness in the chest, the stress of others looking at you, you may laugh, you make think how stupid, but its real for some people. Before you judge that big lady/ man on the beach, they have probably overcome the biggest obstacle of just getting there, I am in awe of those people, they are awesome, they are truly beautiful in my eyes.

The great unloved


The great unloved.

I made the love of my life (the only person that made my heart miss a beat) think I didn’t care anymore. Hence life moved on. We both moved on. We had families and life took us in different directions. His relationship broke down and he became a single father, (the best dad in the world)…should of been mine. But life goes on. We reignited our friendship over FB a few years ago and he has become my best friend in the world. I would be lost without him. I so want him to move on and get the girl of his dreams…she says with tears going down her face, why is this so difficult?? Why did life have to be such a bitch all those years ago. Life could of been so different. But life moves on…way too fast…gotta be happy…gotta find the love of your life, (and he deserves the love of his life and a huge amount of happiness). If ever he thinks of me, my only wish is that I make him smile.<

Beautiful people



Everyday I am amazed by the kindness and thoughtfulness of people who give so much of themselves and get very little in return.  You only have to walk into an Aged Care facility to find the best people in the world.

Personal care workers are the most underpaid, overworked people in our society.  We trust them with our loved ones, we expect so much from them because we want what is best for our Mum, Dad, Aunt or Uncle.  Emotions make us stand up for what is right for our loved one and rightly so, but all the while, you didn’t see that the carer had already helped a dying lady, or cleaned up a man who was incontinent and wiping it all over the walls, or watched another spit tablets in their face, while another was hitting another carer in the back as she was trying to shower him.  A lady vomits because she doesn’t want to take her tablets, and another’s wounds are so necrotic that the nurse has to put her own emotions aside so she doesn’t vomit or run from the situation.  But yes …you can complain, because your mum hasn’t had anyone to speak to, or spend time with her, because after all, you are paying big money to stay in a place like this, but put your emotions where they should be attended to, our owners (who are trying to make the big bucks), our Government for putting policies in place that make us do unnecessary paper work (just in case we might get sued),  but better still, go visit you relation/friend and take them out for coffee and give them the valuable time you are complaining about.

To all the carers that give of themselves and get more complaints than praise, You are amazing people who have hearts of gold, I wish I could let you know that you are the most awesome people in the world and I know for a fact that those beautiful old people who you care for/ wash / clean up  / feed and nurse on their death bed are so very very grateful.

Relax and breathe



No rush, no need to hurry, massage at the physio, lunch with my grandson, visit to the beach.  What a great place, in 12 inches of water lying in the water hand on head, just taking in the scenery, oh there were mothers with babies, dad chasing after small ones, couples holding hands, girl friends giggling to each other, a mother teaching her child to swim and here I am, just relaxing, heavenly, quiet, water flowing over my toes, no stress, no worries, no fighting, no one to answer to ..just quiet, wish this moment could last for a while!



Who cares?



So celebrities go to rehab, die from overdoses, get front page of the paper……………..so, people are crying out and dying everyday, their names aren’t in the paper, they were lonely, they were needy, they needed someone to love them too.  They will be missed terribly by their loved ones.

What a weird world we live in, we give and get and feel so lonely, our head is our worst enemy, wondering why, making up stuff that probably isn’t real, thinking no one cares.

If I died today, who would care.  Yeah.  You may be sad for a moment but that’s fleeting, time passes, will soon be forgotten.  Sounds like an easy option some days.  I understand why they do it, might be a regret they would undo if they were given a chance, but for that moment, just at that moment, that’s how they felt, life sucked and no one cared.